I'm having a problem

I'm having a problem as of late. Actually, I've had this problem for quite a while, you might call it an identity crisis. In the world of Minnesota education I'm an EBD teacher. For those not in education, EBD stands for Emotional/Behavioral Disorder. So there lies my crisis, I'm an EBD teacher. I have an issue with being an EBD teacher. Does that mean I teach rational, ordinary students to have emotional and behavioral issues, or do I teach those who have emotional and behavioral issues to do it better. "Jonny, don't just put your head on the desk, no, no, pull your hood up OVER your head, make sure your fists hit the desktop as your head goes down. Now I want you to practice that until you have mastered it....a passing grade is riding on this so do it RIGHT!" Or, "Julia, you first have to throw your books across the room and then start crying, if you do it the other way around, your eyes will be blury and you won't hit your target. And remember how I taught you to withdraw within yourself? Make sure you don't let anyone in to help you and you'll do just fine."

As much as I don't like the title of EBD teacher, I absolutely abhor the more commonly used, although not by me, Case Manager. I manage cases, 14 of them to be exact at this moment. You can never tell when that number will go up or down...Izzy is outta here because he sold the wild majunna from his back yard, but wait, here comes a case, Addie, with incoherent paperwork. Just how am I going to help her be a better EBD student?

Well, first thing I'll do for Addie is have an INTAKE meeting. Intake, is straight out of the world of psychiatric hospitals. Yes, let's intake Addie, so we know all her emotional and behavioral issues, we can create a program to make her better. For me these are the most uncomfortable meetings. As with most new students, Addie will sit with the almost perfect don't get near me body posture (Note to self, put that on the list to make perfect.) She'll have her eyes glued to the table top and answer any questions in monosyllables. Then her parent or parents will ask her to leave for a few minutes. Someone at the table will suggest they take her for a tour, whew! Now she'll have no clue we'll be talking about her. Once out the door, the parent or parents will open the door to all the issues really facing Addie. Sometimes it breaks my heart, sometimes it makes me wish I had a Rocky Balboa left hook. We wrap up the meeting with discussion of goals, objectives, IEPs, pull out classes, general education classes, educational support, etc, etc. All shake hands, except Addie, who may look up with a short smile. Addie comes in the next day and we all think this won't be so bad, but as with all good things the honeymoon is short. Soon Addie is wearing her worries, her anger, her fear and frustration like a shawl. And this is where my identity crisis comes in.

I'm not an EBD teacher, I'm not a case manager, I'm a woman who is trying my hardest to figure out the worries, anger, fear and frustration of Addie and all the students whom I talk with, laugh with, get angry at, listen to, help to understand English and why things are the way they are. Is that being an EBD teacher? Not really. Is that being a Case Manager? No. How about a new title? I'd go for HR teacher. Human Relationship teacher...why we do, what we do to get our needs met and how to get those needs met without destroying ourselves. I like that better because it allows me to be human. I know the days I do well by my students and I know the days I don't. But every day I go to school and try again because human relationships are messy and complicated and if I can help my students understand that before they leave high school, that is a very, very good thing.