An Accounting

Over the years Christmastime has run the gauntlet of emotion...full of wonder watching my children with unabashed love, tragedy watching my dieing mother talking of being with my brother in heaven Christmas the next year, heartwrenching the year of my divorce, the children caught in the crossfire of betrayal and hatred, exhilerating full of laughter and love with my husband, children and grandchildren. No matter what the emotion, one thing has stayed constant, an accounting.



It's not the bean counter type of accounting, it's an accounting of the soul. Each week at the beginning of the Lutheran service in our communial confession we pray for forgiveness for what we have done and what we have left undone. The done is obvious and if we aren't aware of what we have done, there is always someone willing and eager to tell us. For that we ask forgiveness. For me what goes deeper into the soul is what is left undone. For the undone resides most often in the depths of our soul. It is between us and God. We know what we could have done, should have done but didn't. I know the times I saw need and turned away. No one else saw but I did. I know the times I dealt out anger, cruelty, judgement, disinterest.

With the turning of the calendar, there is a turning of the soul. I look back at the year gone by and measure what I've done or not done. With anticipation I look to the new year, not so much to make resolutions, for we all know just how well those turn out, but to renew. A new year, like fresh snow is spotless, smooth and glistening. I have the chance to make amends, and begin again. And I will. Happy New Year to everyone, may your New Year bring happiness, good health, love and peace.