Sending Them Away

Almost every day I like what I do, working with special education students. I find that most of the time they have a better perspective on life than most adults. They are keenly aware of the human failings because they are the victims of those failings. Some retreat within themselves, others rage, all are wounded. They are doing their best to navigate the expectations, rules, regulations and demands of growing up. Once in a while a student comes along who despite our best efforts to support him, cannot navigate, cannot reach out and hold on, cannot "fake it till he makes it." Today I had to send that student away.


I don't like sending students away, not because of a sense of failure but because I don't like to see a student in such mental anquish, tortured life at this time in his life. As I sat at the meeting and Mom tried to lash out at our failings, tried to put digs into the school for not being up to the task of helping her child. I knew what I had to say and I knew it was going to hurt. Yes, I replied, we are not up to the task. Your child needs more mental health services than we can provide, he is that deeply hurt, in that much pain, is so very lost. With that, Mom put her head down, silent, staring off as we concluded the meeting. She shook my hand at the end, each of us nodding quietly acknowleding the depth of her son's needs.


I walked downstairs into my 1st hour class, looked over at a small, impish 9th grader who has just arrived from another state. He has told me he is not right in his mind. I think he right. I looked at him and thought, we will work hard for him, but how long will it be until I have to gather everyone around the table and send him away.


I like what I do, but not today.