It's nice to get birthday wishes

I think I'm really coming to terms with this beyond middle aged life. It became apparent yesterday as Ted and I walked into the Pioneer Art Museum in Fargo. I sighed as I did the older lady waddle walk because my hips were hurting as I ascended the large marble steps to the reception desk. The young lady at the desk welcomed us and told us about the exhibits on the upper three floors, smiling sweetly she pointed out the elevator. Somehow I knew she didn't do that for the younger crowd. She continued that the admission was $5.00 for adults but if we happened to be over 55, it was $4.00. Without hesitation, I slapped Ted's arm and said yippee. It was the first time I didn't scowl when someone mentioned the double nickel number to me in relation to age.

Today is the magic day, the day I turned 58. It's kind of no man land in the aging cycle. Beyond that easily made fun of 55 and not quite 60, another heroic age marker. So what is it that 58 years of living brings to mind? First, any projection beyond 30 years, say, all the oceans will sweep over the earth because of global warming, gain a response of "don't care won't be here and if I am, I think I'll be more concerned with being able to climb stairs."

Second, my generation that was determined to change the world, did indeed but not in the way many of us imagined. I see missed opportunities, not just how the world would have been different without the problems provided by my parent's generation...Vietnam, assassination of the Kennedy Brothers and Martin Luther King. But those missed by mine, the election of Regan who in my mind is one of the worst Presidents ever. I saw Walter Mondale one day this summer as I was in the middle of getting my eye exam. With my eyes dilated open, trying to see what I looked like in several pairs of frames, I saw a man walk up to the clerk behind the counter and ask to have his glasses adjusted. He looked like Walter Mondale and sounded like him but I wasn't sure. When the clerk returned with the glasses, and the recipient said thank you, I knew it was him. I turned and stared at him and he looked at me. I wanted to run to him and tell him that I had voted for him all those years ago. That I had believed in his message that we were headed in the wrong direction, that we needed to work for the common good and not only for our own wallets. I wanted to tell Walter Mondale how sorry I was that he hadn't won and in how we all lost in 1984. Instead I nodded to him and he to me and he walked away.

Third, I've started to let go of what could have been. I still get frustrated and angry, especially now at the selfishness of our legislators, the right wing nut jobs out on the stump drumming up hatred and thanking those in New Hampshire for their fight at Concord and Lexington. Need I write any more? I get infuriated at the MN legislature where being a teacher is equal to incompetent, yet none of these folks are teachers themselves. But they all went to school and therefore are experts....hmmm...I've read a lot of legal mysteries...can I join the MN Bar? And while I can still get revved up and will still state the case for the common good and decency, I am also looking at a smaller stage.

I look at the journey I've been on so far and am so very grateful. I have wonderful children who are working hard to be a positive influence in this world. The gals are married to wonderful guys and the lone guy is finding his way through those tough early 20's years. ( Just like high school, I'd never want to go back there, not even for the pain free body.) I have a wonderful husband who took me on a trip this week for rest and relaxation. My idea of time away is reading, sleeping and reading some more. Despite how bored he is, and he is, he is hanging in there with me. I have an extended family I truly adore and friends who are thoughtful and kind. I've been blessed, not sure why but I'll take it. Thank you to all for the birthday wishes and let's all keep on keeping on.