Freedom and Thanks

I've been married for a total of 36 years, although not all to the same husband. Yesterday, October 18, was the 17th year of freedom from my first husband which I celebrated quietly in my mind by watching the Vikings not necessarily win the game, Baltimore lost it. I traced my walk through the Morris County court house, the judge bringing down the gavel and saying congratulations, you are a free woman. The judge being female understood. I walked down the long steps of the courthouse out to a cool, damp day and smiled. While it was a day of liberation for me, I know it cost my children dearly. They endured the ravages of divorce, the yelling, the outright hatred, the betrayal of their family. I packed them up and moved them to Minnesota, without asking, without looking back. I know it was a terrible burden for them and left them with many questions about fidelity and love and most importantly trust. I could not answer their questions, often times because I didn't know the answer, most of the time because it was too painful. My daughter, Megan, struggled with what is a relationship and I know vowed not to get burned. Fortunately, she cast her fear aside and is now in a great relationship with Jason.
My son, Ralph has shared it was difficult finding a way to be a man, but now he knows...he still struggles with what to call his birth father, being Dad or his given name, seeing as they are both named Ralph.
But quietly, persistently, thank God, a guy named Ted came into our lives. He has a Marine walk, a Marine talk and on the inside he is mush. He is a guy with a sense of humor when he doesn't try, knows so much about so many things, stubborn and gentle, opinionated and passionate. He took us into his life and called us wife, daughter and son...not step daughter and step son..he would have none of that. He champions them as he does his daughter or rather I should say our daughter, Stephanie. He accepts us for who we are and who we aren't. It is the first time in my life I'm unconditionally loved. I hope Megan and Ralph know that too. Ted, despite his sometimes growliness, loves them unconditionally. Thank you, Ted, we love you unconditionally back.